I don’t want to be hard-as-nails, thick-skinned, and meet every life challenge and obstacle head-on with tough durability because sometimes I need softness and protection. And you shouldn’t have to prove your ability to withstand suffering and adapt to stress over and over and over again. There were times you found a way to endure, but you don’t have to keep riding out an onslaught of peril and pain.
It’s also okay to practice building inner-strength as a personal recovery plan after feeling weakened by circumstances. It’s alright to recognize the good things about positive resiliency.
Being resilient doesn’t have to mean that when you’re exposed to potential hurt or danger, you’re conditioned to take a volley of life’s hits so you’re open for more.
I like to think of a resiliency that isn’t in constant pursuit of your vulnerability or intent on beating you down, testing your resolve, depriving grief from being heard, or piling on more tragedy.
This resiliency can be the traits that survived an attack, the tree that grew after the fire —the song that didn’t die inside or the terrain you walk, one step at a time. It can be honestly expressing how much you can take, reworking a problem, finding a fresh start or a tender reminder there is a clear morning waiting to hold you after the storm.
And sometimes this resiliency is a powerful testament to what you somehow got through but don’t have to live in for the rest of your days.
FOR REFLECTION
Being resilient largely means having the ability to withstand difficult and even harsh conditions and rapidly recover. But we’re not weeds proliferating after the torrent of wind and flood. We’re human. And sometimes we tire and scar and the expectation to bounce back is not realistic or possible in the world we know.
So what about the other, kinder resiliency that allows you to grieve and rest and restore before it’s time to meet those big feelings or the next set of life’s interruptive waves…
What about the Resiliency that’s merciful and practical and wise as a voice inside expressing, Yes, I made it through, but I don’t need to ride out these harsh conditions as a life sentence.
What if resiliency could speak and doesn’t imply you haven’t been met with severe and difficult stress, but recognized the hardships? It’s not saying you won’t malfunction under the most inhumane pressure. It’s saying that while going through these hardships, you don’t have to act out in ways that are harmful and dysfunctional. How would you describe your resilient nature and how did you respond to a specific strife? How were you able to find it within yourself to rebuild after a personal tragedy— emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?
Our bodies come with an understanding of repairing after injury. Most of us have some form of medical challenge or condition, yet somehow find a way to thrive in the threat of our adversity.
When we’re realistic, despite our limitations and because of our limitations, we are exercising our resiliency. When we’re striving to look squarely at what we can’t control and managing what we are capable of, then we’re exercising our resiliency.
So if our body can’t quite repair itself to the fullest of our greatest desire, it is working to the extent that it can. And that’s still maintaining a realistic perspective graced with a measure of human hope.
Thank you for letting me see that my fatigue from being tested & stretched is permissible. My resilience is exhausting. Your words ‘ And that’s still maintaining a realistic perspective graced with a measure of human hope.’ speaks of my life. Bless you 💗
Thank you, Susan.